Can’t stop feeling guilty about my friend being in rehab?

Question by anonimo: Can’t stop feeling guilty about my friend being in rehab?
I’ve been best friends with this guy for the whole year. He got in a bit of trouble because he partied too hard. Because of this he lost his job, broke up with his girlfriend and was estranged from his family. I helped him to get back on track and supported him economically for several months until he found a job.

On occasions we’d go out for drinks and he smoked pot in front of me a few times but nothing serious happened.

At the beginning of July we got into a fight because he wanted to party with people he had just met who offered him drugs. I had been trying to patch things up for a while, I emailed him, and left messages on his voice mail but I never got a reply, and thus I hadn’t talked to him in weeks. I thought he was playing hard to reach but yesterday I spoke to his brother and told me he was admitted into a rehabilitation facility last month, and he still had some weeks left in there.

I couldn’t help but feel partly responsible for it, though I don’t drink much and don’t do drugs at all. In fact he said that his family always overreacted to his drug and alcohol use and that he was been unfairly blamed for a lot of problems between them.

There’s doubt in my mind as to what I could’ve done or stopped doing to prevent him from ever getting there. I don’t know how much is true and if he was taken away against his will, but I’m also afraid that once he comes out, he will accuse me of being an enabler. All I know is that I want for him to get better, but I also feel really bad and like I need to talk to him. What should I do?

Best answer:

Answer by Claudia
Why are you feeling bad for him being in rehab? Ok, take this from an ex heroin addict. As far as him saying that his family overreacts to his drug and alcohol use – the fact that he even uses drugs is a problem. Addicts are extremely good at manipulating and bending the truth. They are very decieving and blame everyone but themselves for their problems. The fact that more than one person thought he had a problem should be a hint that – yes, he did have a problem. You’re worried because you thought there’s more you could do to STOP him from going to rehab? Do you realize how backwards that sounds? All drug addicts are in denial at one point or another – they would never admit they have a problem. They just “like to have fun once in a while – oh but I can stop whenever I want to it’s no big deal”. That’s always the logic that an addict has – it’s just for “recreation”. This guy had a problem and he’s brainwashed you into thinking he doesn’t, point blank. I’ve been there a hundred times and back, I was a great scam artist, every addict is. So if he has beef with you when he gets out, you should have beef with him because he took you for a fool and made you feel bad about him being in rehab which will ultimately better his life.

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