Can’t overcome addiction, ready to die?

Question by Alex: Can’t overcome addiction, ready to die?
I have been using coke, meth, and heroin regularly for 7 years. I have been in and out of rehab, but it NEVER helped me at all. So many lives are destroyed. I’m ready to take mine. I want to hang myself this weekend. I had depression as a kid, but I was never this miserable. I have had short time periods of being clean, but they never last. My body has completely shut down twice. I shouldn’t be alive. I left the love of my life and my son for drugs. I’m scum. I love God, but why won’t He let my suffering end? This will be the death of me, whether intentional or not. Should I just wait until this kills me? How can I end this?
I left my friends, even though they were the only light in my life. That was a mistake. None of them use drugs. Self-pity? If you had permanently fucked up your life and just couldn’t climb out of the hole you dug yourself, you would be wanting to die too.
I was in therapy and on medication for 2 years. I started going when I was 12 and was dismissed and taken off my meds at 14.

Best answer:

Answer by nightmusic
Go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting and find someone to talk to. Look them up online and find a meeting.

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