Brother’s addictions, stopping enabling, dealing with monetary issues?

Published May 16, 2010

It’s an odd situation. My brother who is in his 40s has several addictions (gambling, meth, possibly others) and the family has cut him off from all monetary assistance. However, he has taken out loans from some less savory individuals and we’re worried about his safety. My mother recently passed and locked her will until her house is sold. We don’t know the reason for the lock on the will. If he gets his inheritance (and my mother didn’t put in a stipulation on him getting his money), it’ll be gone, but if we can stop it from going to him we can stop the physical harm from the loans. I realize we can’t keep him safe forever unless he gets treatment, but I also realize he won’t get help until he’s ready for it or if it’s forced he’ll probably relapse. Can we, as a family, withhold inheritance from him to pay the loan? Does anyone have any advice for convincing him to want treatment? I don’t believe an intervention will work with him.
Thanks for your answers. I love him dearly. He’s the brother closest to me in age and I’d love to shake him and ask, “Why won’t you grow up already??” But I don’t behave like that.

He doesn’t expect me to have money so he doesn’t come to me. The entire family has a “Do Not Give” order now, however. If he calls asking for money, I’ve seen phones light up as my brothers and sisters call each other to let each other know it’s coming and provide moral support. If he knew I’ve been able to save some, he’d be after me in a second.

I just don’t want him hurt. He may be stupid, but he’s still my brother (Actually, he has a high IQ and he’s wasting it).

Brother’s addictions, stopping enabling, dealing with monetary issues?

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