BPD ex GF…..(warning long)Please advise?
Question by Parnavue: BPD ex GF…..(warning long)Please advise?
We broke up 3 weeks ago, I dated my ex for 2 and half years, the first 1 year was perfect, although I noticed some childesh behavior, but I didnt pay much attention to it. The next half year, we spent it fighting, as I became clingy and possesive because of the fact that she lied one time about hanging out with an ex and I busted her. She started hanging out w the some people and hooked up with this one guy that I didnt know about, then one day she broke up with me, and did it in a really rude way in front of this new guy, she kicked me out of her house in front of him( A guy that she met 2 weeks before that), I was shocked, angry. Anyways, I had to travel to another far state for coz there was a job opportunity, so I decided to go there and it was a two 2 months thing, and was planning to stay there because I have nothing left in the state where I used to live after she broke up w me. Anyways, so after 2 days of arriving to this new state (NY) I longed so much for her. I started calling her and she would talk to me, tell me what I wanna hear for 5 minutes and then “I am gonna let u go” I called her pretty much everyday trying to hear voice, and begged her to get back together. And of course I couldnt focus on my job related stuff. Here comes the last year of the relationship (I said in the beggining it was a 2 years and half) so after 2 months I went back to Nebraska(Where she lives) hoping that everthing was gonna be alright. She told me that we should move out together, so we rented an apartment, I paid everything (I didnt care coz I loved her so much). I realized after 2 days that she is on hardcore drugs (Meth) and then I figured that she became a stripper (Worked at a strip club as a witress and would strip sometimes) I tried so many times to convince her to stop the drugs and the strip, there was no way, and all our arguments would turn into physical fights (She would start hitting me) and I never hit her back, I would just restrain her. She kicked me out of the apartment after 2 days, and i honestly told her that am not coming back due to the fact that she was on drugs. So she started bringing guys to the apartment(Drug addicts, escort girls, potheads) and had sex with probably 8 of them. One time I went there and found out that there was a guy in there, it took her sometime to open the door, and when I found out about the guy I didnt know what to do, I was going to fight with him, and he was really scared, and I was so confused at that moment and i fainted(I didnt pass out or anything, I just started sweating and felt this unbearable pain in my chest) so I went to the ER and she left me there and went back to the guy!!!(I couldnt believe it, she just met the guy) and told me to take a cab. After I tried to get her back, but the more i asked the more she was manipulative and pushed her self away. So, I told her that I want out of this B.S and of course she gets mad and become physically violent whenever i say that. Until one day she was at her parents and wanted to talk to me, so I went there and she started telling me that she hooked up with a new guy and I told her am fine w it (I was lieing, I wanted to seem careless, and also what am I supposed to say??) So she started hitting me and her stepdad saw that and he called the cops on her. Even her stepdad stood by my side. She went to jail for 3 days and got out, she came to me after two weeks and told me that she wants back and that she quit everything, and she moved back to her parents house. She seemed fine for 2 months, although she didnt seem happy (especially when I was trying to approach her for sex(I didnt wanna have sex myself, I only did that coz I wanted things to work out) Anyways, one day she decided to move out with this married couple only coz they smoke pot 24/7, so she did, and after few days they kicked her out of the house because they realized that she started doing meth again. that was three weeks ago, she called me and I talled her to f&*( off. 3 days ago she called me 40 times and then showwed up at my apartment after I didnt pick the phone. She came to my apartment at 4:00 am and started hitting me really bad(She heard that I went to the movies with another girl last sunday) so she jumped on me and gave me two hikies and scatches all over my body. And then after that she started telling me that she wants me to date that girl and that she is happy for me!!! She sounded really sincere about it(What the heck does she mean?) She hasnt called since, U would assume that she would but she didnt!!! I am pretty sure that she is hooked up with another guy now, she even told me about it. She quit drugs, and trying to go to school. She is acting all good in front of the new guy (Thats how she is, thats how she fooled me). Anyways I dont know what to do? I mean I know that this is extremely toxic, but I do care about her so much.
Answer by iheartu6969
wow. okay well all i can say is MOVE ON
if you love this girl and you think she is worth all this drama, then go for it. but you need to worry about yourself. Whats best for you. She has alot of problems she needs to work on herself before she can be in any relationship. As for you, move on. date other girls. you will be so happy years from now i promise 🙂
Answer by cyberdoc
She is not for you, forget her and move on with your life.
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