Bi Polar not taking responsibility for behaviors?

Question by Jael: Bi Polar not taking responsibility for behaviors?
Soon to be ex son in law has been diagnosed with bi polar, after first diagnosis, he continued to self medicate with pot and alcohol. Made bad choices and spiraled downward getting arrested several times and having affairs. Emotionally and physically abusive to children. Whether manic or depressed, he has been controlling and abusive to both wife and children.

Currently his wife, my dau has filed for divorce as she can not continue to live with the unusual controls, poor decisions, frequent pot usage and obsessive talk about pot. As well as forced sex and physically keeping her from one child and calling the other child his favorite. all in front of children.
just today, he said to one of the children on the phone that she should not talk back to grandma or he would not be her friend anymore.
He is currently incarcerated and under court order to stay in Psych hospital for 6mo of treatment.
My concern is the 4 year old and 6 year old and how his erratic behavior is affecting them. They sleep poorly and have night terrors as well as behavior that we struggle with gaining control of.
He seems to want me to accept him and just forget all he has done to these children and my dau. I can for give, but, I just don’t think I have to trust him.
It is easy to say that “I will continue to take my meds and follow through with my treatment” when in a controlled setting.
Then he keeps saying that we are the bad people because he couldn’t help what he was doing. He wants to tell his kids how to think and act and tells them the scary details of bipolar and mental hospitals, he thinks he is super smart and knows better than everyone else.
How can we be sure that he will not “slip” when not under the watchful eye of the authorities? He has used bipolar as his reason for all his inappropriate behaviors.
How can I stand up to him? Protect my grandchildren? Trust him?????

Best answer:

Answer by moysant1
Bipolar can make people irresponsible, because that is what bipolar can do when they swing to extremes.

Just provide the children with as much stability as you can from yourself. It is up to your daughter to look after their needs with your support. Don’t try to control this guy, you are not his jailor or keeper and any tension from you will make his stress worse and his behaviour worse.

Plenty of ppl have grown up with a drunk or an abusive parent but as long as they had other ppl who were reliable they can turn out ok.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!