Any suggestions on what to say to my daughter without crying?

Question by ms: Any suggestions on what to say to my daughter without crying?
Usually I’m a strong woman. I’m the mother of five daughters and two granddaughter. My fourth daughter is leaving for Iraq soon and I’m frightened for her. This daughter gave me a run for my money as a teenager. She dressed in goth clothing, black hair, nails, and make-up. She was so defiant that she skipped school and fought all of the time. I raised my daughters myself after getting rid of an abusive alcoholic husband. During the rebellious years, my then separated husband used to cater to her behavior until I had to send her to a mentors home where I learned that she was on meth. I was upset because I just knew that my daughter was smarter than that. I just had to prove to her that she mattered and that I loved her.

My daughter is now a well behaved young lady who found for herself that her father was misguided. You see after being tired of fighting the both of them I allowed her to stay with her father. She found out that he stole her money out of her account ($ 4000.00) that she received for financial aid for college and he had used it to get high on. My daughter had retaliated by taking his ATM card and took $ 400.00. He had her arrested. I stepped in and told the police that if they were arresting my daughter, then they needed to arrest my ex-husband because he stole $ 4000.00 from her first. They released my daughter and told him that it was a family matter. He moved out of his two bedroom home and into a one bedroom home where my daughter didn’t have a place to stay.

I asked her to stay with me, but she told me that she had to be responsible. I told her that the door was always welcome for her. She told me that she loved me and that she knows. I get this often from her. Her father convinced her to join the Army. I question him and told him that the military isn’t the same when we were in. My baby is 21 now and has found someone who loves her. But now she has to leave for a year to Iraq. I’ve known that she was leaving for Iraq for a few months now. But now it’s starting to dawn on me that my child is leaving to go over there.

I have a going away party planned for her with all of her family there. Even her father and his girlfriend is invited even though I’m angry with him. I set up the Christmas decorations just for her. She wants me to sing for her. How do I sing without crying. I haven’t cried yet. I still call my child “Pooh Bear.” I’m asking God for guidance. Her favorite song is “I Hope you dance.” All I can think of to say is that as long as we have each other in our hearts, I won’t be far away. Will that be okay?
Thanks to all of your suggestions at the farewell ceremony for my daughter going overseas. Everything went well. And there was crying. The only thing that we all agreed on was her father who was true to form. There were nine people there for our family. The other hundreds of supportive families were there also. Afterwards we went out to dinner. We talked, laughed and cried. My ex’s girlfriend was not there due to her sick child. But while we were deciding how to split the check. I decided to pay for it. My daughter and boyfriend asked me was I sure. I assured everyone it was okay. But they wouldn’t hear of it. I paid with my credit card and everyone chipped in for the total that I paid. That is all but my ex-husband. I have five daughters who all asked him why. He replied that he thought I was treating. They shook their heads but I told them it was okay. This was my daughters day and that was all that mattered. My ex will have to live with himself and how he is.

God Bless You All

Best answer:

Answer by ?
Please don’t cry in front of her. Let the occasion be a joyous one. She does not want the last memory of you before her trip to be of you crying.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!