To finally be somebody? (long but please help. be realistic)?

Question by Parsa K: To finally be somebody? (long but please help. be realistic)?
I have been thinking of changing my image forever. I am 17 and most girls I know, know me as a “sweet, good, nice guy”. My best friend is what you can call a “bad ***”. When we are together, we are both equally “bad ***” in what we do, but I tend to care a lot more for girls. I tend to be mysterious in my thought and actions, when my friend is both mysterious and honestly a “jerk”. I would listen to a girls problems and help out, give support, and try my best to make them feel special. He wouldn’t do anything like that. He seems to get more “attention” though. I want some love also. Now there is a girl ( my close friend) I love,and I don’t know what she thinks about me back. She isn’t “popular” and has the same ring of friends I do. She wrote in my bday card, ” I can’t believe someone like me ever met someone like you”. But according to my friend, That’s just a trick for me to be a cushion to the girl for her problems and that she would use me and never look at me the way I want her to. I trust him because he has always been “successful” with girls. I was the straightedge, funny, “ok looking” , bad dancer, caring guy with good grades and he was the good-looking, party animal, good dancer, drinking,smoking doing drugs , treating girls badly, and failing classes. I wanted to be liked. I went to my friend for help. He grinned and promised to help me out with the girl I like. He said girls only like “badasses” and that to be loved we have to become one. His idea was that girls only like nice guys when they have had all their fun with 50 “badasses” and are no longer young and want to use the nice guy for financial security, not love. He said ” You don’t want that do you? You actually want to be somebody right?”. His explanations made so much sense to me. He helped me lose about 60 pounds, gaina 4 pack (working on six), learn how to fight, and started to treat girls terribly and lost my “straightedgeness” with drugs and alcohol. We would stay up til 3-4 am doing exercises and drilling exercises such where he retaught me etiquette toward girls . Many of the girls I used to be friends with missed me because I wasn’t there to be the friend that I used to be. He said that he would be right and he was . Girls I never knew before started to like me. I felt bad for losing my morals and my identity, but I finally had the thing I wanted the most, some actual affection. Will doing all this stuff be better than me being the “good” guy that I used to be? I want dates,love, and relationships now, I don’t have the patience to wait until 15 years late, and be , according to my friend, “used” as a “financial scratchpost” and an “accessory”
I have never had confidence in who I was. It seems like no girl likes me, and I never thought of myself as a “man”. The girl who made me that card, I told her she is the most beautiful girl in the world and she was shocked. (she said her parents didn’t even think that). I helped her out when she was sad and everything just because that’s what i usually do, but I started to like her even more. I gave her compliments because she also has low -self esteem.My friend made it seem like “I am not good enough for any girl,” so i started to say that every morning when i got up. When i fail at something, I beat myself up and have done that every day of my life because my friend (through his success with girls) showed me that I ain’t worth s***
The girl I like never saw the new me because I wasn’t ready to show her. I am not sure if i should

Best answer:

Answer by Caitlynn
My brother’s do drugs, and tell me I’m standing out too much, and I need to join. There was a time where I thought I should do drugs to look cool. I personally think bad boys aren’t so great. I like not bad boys, but those jokester yet sweet guys. Don’t follow his example, how disappointed will your family be. To be smoother with the ladies here is advice: Be youself, have a sense of humor, show athleticness in a non braggy way, speak intelligently, but not too smart or she will thnk you are a nerd. BE YOURSELF! Hoped I helped. 😉

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