How do I handle his severe depression, former alcohol/drug abuse and holidays?

Question by auburnchic_68: How do I handle his severe depression, former alcohol/drug abuse and holidays?
My husband is being treated for depression. He is a recovering alcoholic/drug addict. He has an addictive personality. He is/was addicted to porn, mostly kids. I caught him looking at a video of a girl, 8-10 yrs old, and that (2 months ago) was the beginning of the end. It brought back all old memories of my own sexual abuse when I was 10. I had gone to a shrink to get over it. He wants to help me get over the feelings of my past, he says. I believe he does in his way. His way is to pressure me into sex. It disgusts me for him to even touch me. He knows ALL of this. He keeps pressuring. I am going to file for divorce AFTER the holidays, but I need advice on how to tell him there is no hope for us. I need to make sure he understands that it is MY feelings that are pushing me away because I can no longer deal with the past. He has researched suicide in the VERY recent past and that scares me. Had I known about his kiddie porn before we got married we wouldn’t be married.
His mom plays a major part in this, in that she lays guilt trips on him. She is already blaming me for him changing. Only change I made was giving him an ultimatum on the drugs/alcohol. He and I had the arguement on kiddie porn. The reason I am waiting till after the holidays, is because my money is spent on my 17 yr old’s Christmas (she lives with her dad). I’ll get my bonus check and tax check at the end of the fiscal year. I can afford the divorce then. I know that once I leave his behavior will no longer be my responsibility, but I will still feel guilty. Too soft a heart I guess. I am not telling him I want the divorce till AFTER the first of the year, though he does already know divorce is possible. I have told him of the possibility of it and the reasons it might happen. Like I said, had I known of his thing for kiddie porn, we NEVER would have gotten married to begin with.

Best answer:

Answer by jack
yeah….you are going to need a shrink on this one. but for what it’s worth, you are very good to stay by his side thru the holidays….i give you credit for that, and for wanting to help him. after the New Year, drive him to a shrink and drop him off!

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