My mothers 5 year old adopted son is rude, out of control and embarrassing. How do I tactfully approach this?

Question by pavlovasupernova23: My mothers 5 year old adopted son is rude, out of control and embarrassing. How do I tactfully approach this?
When I was 21, married and with a son of my own my mother adopted a newborn meth baby. He is now 5. He is rude, very rude. When I am on the phone with her I can hear him as well as I can hear her because he is all over her. He’s in her face, yelling into the phone, yelling in her ear, asking her questions, demanding her attention. When I am there with her it is the same. I cannot talk to her without competing with him for her attention. He hits to show affection or when he is angry. He has no regard for personal space. I cannot allow my son to be around him without being carefully supervised because he is crude and often does things that make my son uncomfortable. He is abusive to animals, my mother is constantly having to protect the family pets from him. People don’t like their kids around him. Adults don’t like to be around him. He tells me to “Shut up” and “Go home”. He is just terribly disrespectful. My mom does little to nothing about his behavior. And neither does his dad, who spoils him horribly. When I try to address this with my mom she becomes very, very offended and defensive. How do I deal with this? I’m so tired of avoiding the subject…
Naturally, I know that as a meth baby he is prone to behavioral issues. However, there are extra measures that can be taken to help control the bad behavior. There are specialized therapists and teachers that work with kids like him. There are cirtain types of discipline that can be used. Just because a child was a meth baby that is no reason to allow them to be as bad as they want. They still need direction and discipline to mold them into acceptable adults. My mother refuses to even acknowledge that he might have problems with his learning or that he even HAS behavioral issues.

Best answer:

Answer by Catchin’ A Wave
You need to understand his circumstances, the boy didn’t ASK to be a METH BABY but because of it he has psychological disorders, hyperactivity he cannot control. Nobody knows if he will out grow this since meth babies are a new burden on society thanks to drug addicts getting pregnant and having kids. I credit your mom for giving him love, attention and hopefully a chance in life. What’s gonna happen when he goes to school. Please be more understanding and patient and love him unconditionally. After all technically he is your “brother”. What if he was YOUR SON!

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