Why aren’t more teen moms forced to choose adoption?

Question by wizardprincess: Why aren’t more teen moms forced to choose adoption?
As a teacher in Title 1 highschools, I’ve seen so many pregnant teens that are already living at poverty level in the projects, and I’ve asked them “so what are your plans?” None of them have ever mentioned adoption. I’ve asked politely “Has anyone mentioned adoption to you?” and the most common response I get is “If I have to carry this and give birth to it then I’m keepin it”. Not ONCE have I heard any of my pregnant girls say “I love this child” or “I look forward to being a mother”…nothing like that at all. It seems pretty selfish to me. I’ve also asked a few times “but wouldnt it be great to know that your child will have loving parents, have a beautiful home to live in, and not want for anything?” I was shocked when one pregnant teen replied that if she didn’t have those things then her kid didn’t deserve it either. When I asked about abortion, one girl said it was too expensive bc it was like $ 300, which obviously I nicely stated that a baby is much more expensive than that. Another response to that was that it was against the Bible (isn’t being an unwed mother and having sex out of marriage against the bible?). I’m not saying I promote abortion, I’m just so confused by these kids’ choices. To add to it all, I’ve had teen mothers smoke meth, drink, and take oxycotin while pregnant, giving birth to badly damaged babies and they STILL get to keep them. I’ve never had one teenage mother in over ten years of service to only have one child. One teen mom had her first child at 11…and had six babies all by different fathers by the time she was 20. All of her children went to my family’s daycare center and were paid for by the state, their clothes came from a local church, and no child support was ever involved. Eventually these babies suffer abuse and neglect and some are put into foster homes, or in the care of their grandparents who didn’t do a good job raising the parent so they obviously won’t do a good job with the grandchild. It’s a shame that so many children in our country are unloved and unwanted and people have to adopt children from other countries. These abused and neglected children make up over 35,000 homeless children in this country…and a good portion of them came from teen parents. Bottom line: Teen parents cost this country $ , and worse, subject innocent babies to abuse and neglect. Shouldn’t they be forced to give up the child to the state?
May I also add that I’ve been working with teen moms for over a decade. I’ve had hope and would love nothing more than to see good results, but my experience has been far from that. I’m sure that there are a few teen moms who do well, this is not towards you. Think of the movie Precious-that’s what I work with. My biggest concern is: is it worth the pain in suffering of the majority vs the comfort of the minority? I just had a child a few weeks ago 6 yrs old, sexually molested by strangers bc his mom, although sweet took him to house parties and left him alone in rooms of people’s houses thinking he was safe and asleep. His therapy just beginning, and the pedafiles are still loose and they prey on teen moms’ children. It’s heart breaking. Thanks for all your comments!
Concerning the foster care statement: If children are adopted Iat BIRTH, they wouldn’t EVER go to foster care. It’s the parents holding on to their “rights” as parents that keep children in foster care so long. For example, I have a mother who is an oxycotin addict, was a teen mother & now has five children in foster care, two are adopted in MY family. We adopted them bc she signed them to my family at birth bc she likes our family. They have health problems due to her drug use. There is currently a waiting list of couples who want to adopt. If a teen mom chose adoption that child would have a list of families waiting to adopt. It’s when mothers don’t choose adoption, & if their child suffers abuse and is taken away, then they float in the system bc the mom holds on to her rights. I’ve had foster kids in my home, and now have two adopted girls. Their mother just had another baby by the way and he’s in foster care bc she won’t give up her rights, & she won’t give up the drugs 🙁
Thank you all for your comments! I’m sorry if I came off rude or arrogant. I am a product of teen parenting myself, and it was not a pretty picture. Imagine ten children living in a one bedroom house being beat and starved into submission. That was once my grandmother’s home. I was lucky to get out of the cycle, but even some of my own siblings are repeating this. That’s why I’m so passionate about this. All of your feedback, whether you agree with my question or not is highly appreciated. Thank you.

Best answer:

Answer by Greg
Well no because it is their child, they can take care of it.

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