Is it NORMAL to feel so very lost?
Question by pat: Is it NORMAL to feel so very lost?
A little about myself… I’m 19, attending a community college, living with my brother. I’ve been home schooled, sheltered by parents, and always a little mentally hesitant. I’ve also been diagnosed with ADD, but that’s not the matter here.
For most of my life I’ve felt a little different from the average person. I’ve felt slow to pick up on things, and when I do, I feel little or no mental connection to hobbies or activities, which is probably some kind of learning disability associated with ADD. To spill out everything, I’ve recently gotten out of a “video game addiction,” which sounds ridiculous, but I was playing 12-14 hours a day on an online game for about 5 years. When unable to log in and play the game, I was constantly thinking about it.
My life mostly consists of me pulling enough energy together to pretend to be happy chillin with my friends. I only do this because I don’t want to lose the friends I’ve made in the time I’m trying to solve my own problems, and they are good friends. On the other hand, I feel absolutely no genuine motivation to accomplish anything. This lack of motivation covers everything from being with people, hanging with friends, reading, writing, playing video games, any activity I’ve ever tried.
To be more specific with the lack of motivation; I feel mentally hesitant. My thought process alters who I am, so I can’t just “give it a chance” as many people suggest. When I have an opportunity with a girl, I’m not immediately on my feet mentally, even if she’s attractive. This happens EVEN WHEN I’M NOT NERVOUS. I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve suffered from nervousness though. I just don’t feel like there’s a point to “be” with a girl, and I also don’t find the effort of just one night is worth it, even though it is sometimes. Anyway, sex wouldn’t bring me out of this confusion and feelings of being lost.
Among other things, I’ve recently gotten over a recent obsession for substances. I won’t claim that weed, alcohol, and other substances aren’t addictive, but I would suggest anyone to smoke a little weed and see how it improves their life, seriously. I’ve developed out of my insanely obsessive stages just because weed has literally given me that BIG of a different perspective. I’m now able to occasionally enjoy experimenting with substances with my buddies without the insane urge to do so on a daily basis. I’m not even slightly tempted by cigarettes, so I’m happy to be out of that stage.
Obsession and addiction are thought patterns, and I know what it’s like to have a thought pattern that constantly thinks about drugs, or video games – haha. I don’t want to hear that maybe I feel lost just because I still play video games, drink alcohol, and smoke weed; because, like I’ve said, I know what it’s like to be truly addicted to all of those things, and I definitely don’t have those same thought patterns, and I definitely don’t do any of those things often enough to be labeled addicted or obsessed.
So I now feel absolutely free of all obsessions. On the other hand, I feel like I have no personality, and worse, I don’t know if I ever had one to begin with. I’ve got no motivation, so everything I do is a fraud. I really don’t care to put off an image to everyone else either, so I’m not going to build a childish highschool ego. Everything I do is very “logic” based. I CAN’T choose to have opinions on things, and I’m tired of hearing that I should. Sometimes I’ve got no opinion. Basically, the combination of not wanting to put on an act and not having any motivation has left me completely lost.
I ask you, great gods of yahoo answers, what the hell? What is wrong with me? Why do I feel no purpose – lost? Why do I feel lack of motivation and personality? Why can’t I have opinions that “make me who I am”? I want to hate/love certain foods, colors, music, people, ideas, so that I can be a unique individual.
Best answer:
Answer by Cali
feel so lost, confused, alone and frustrated – Discussion …
5 posts – 3 authors – Last post: 28 Dec 2009
I have so many questions and feel so very lost. I also feel so alone. …. to eating like a “normal” human being. I miss food so very much
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