My stepdaughter is engaged to a Heroin addict – what can I do to talk her out of it?

Question by Michele L: My stepdaughter is engaged to a Heroin addict – what can I do to talk her out of it?
She is 21. “C” was engaged to another young man and they were to be married October 5th and she called off the wedding in July when she started seeing the heroin addict. I know she is an adult and will make up her own mind. She doesn’t understand addiction in the least fights with bf about him smoking cigs. Her mother was an alcoholic and addicted to gambling, she died last May of heart disease sudddenly. My husband is just about speechless, no matter what we say, she isn’t listening. She is supposed to be going to work on a cruise ship in March for 5 mos., now she is already thinking about coming back sooner. We think he proposed to keep her from going. His family is ecstatic about them getting married, she is “his guardian angel” and will “keep him in check” they believe. He supposedly quit using H after two months in jail this past Sept/Oct. but he is drinking and not using a recovery program, just once a week private counseling. Any help, any suggestions?
I know she will make her own choices, but seriously, if you are a parent, how can you “stay out of it”? Wouldn’t you be concerned if it were your daughter?
Really, big-bad, you think a heroin addict that has already had jail time before the age of 21 is stable? Wow, I don’t even know what to say about that. He has never lived on his own, Mommy and Daddy pay for everthing, take care of everything and still he can’t cope. How stable will he be with the responsibilities of managing a home, a wife, and children? Yes they want children, and I just hope that is a few years away. Stable? seriously???
Most of you give great advice and I appreciate it wholeheartedly! Can anyone refer me to any decent websites that may offer us more information regarding heroin addiction and/or recovery or something for loved ones of addicts. I have been searching and have been disappointed thus far with the info available. Thanks again!

Best answer:

Answer by me
Stay out of it and let her make her own mistakes.

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