Ending A Long Term Relationship

Ending A Long Term Relationship

This can be a very difficult time in the life of anyone who has been involved with someone else in a long term relationship. Breaking up with someone you have loved and cared about over a period of time is not easy but often times you might discover that you are better off without that person in your life. However, it is important to know whether to give a struggling relationship some time to heal itself, how much time you should give to it and when exactly to call it quit.

With that said, we should realise that most relationships are often in a state of lull and all that it might just need is a little more attention to get it back on track and not necessarily calling it quit. However, a lot people remain in unpleasant relationship because breaking up is just too difficult an issue to bring up and tackle.

Howbeit, there are times when we get to the point that there is no other option left to us except for both parties to go their separate ways due to irreconcilable differences. How to handle ending a long term relationship is the focus of this piece.

Firstly, it is very important that we put ourselves in the shoes of our partner and ask how we will feel about the way we intend carrying out this breakup exercise if the scenario was reversed. Except where distance is really a big issue, phone calls and text messages should never be used when ending any relationship at all. By all means avoid the blame game and be as civil as you be.

You should by now have come to a clear cut reason why you want the relationship to end and be able to effectively explain this to your partner. Be thorough about this as in most cases the immediate reasons you might be thinking of might be just trivial and the main reasons still lie uncovered. In presenting your reasons you should strive to be as honest as possible with your partner. Think through what you are going to say and your possible responses.

When you have assured yourself of the reasons why you believe the relationship is no longer working and why it cannot work, you should face the grim reality of bringing this the notice of your partner. You should avoid procrastinating, as the decision of breaking up the relationship will not alleviate the problems but only succeed in postponing the backwash. The sooner you do it, the better.

Accept that your partner may express strong feelings about your decision and so you should be prepared to listen to them and resolve not to argue in the course of the discussion. Do not bring up issue or create situations that are likely to put your partner on the defensive. You can eulogise the lessons you would be taking with you and the memories you will cherish as a result of the love you have both shared so far.

The atmosphere may become very emotional and your partner may in their response say things they do not really mean just because they are upset. You have to be calm in this point since you are the one that initiated the breakup and have yourself had time to go over issues before raising them at the breakup. You should allow your partner to air his or her view about your decision and if there be need for both of you to meet again to conclude the breakup, then provide them with the opportunity.

However, in such a emotionally charged atmosphere, you should maintain your position and not create an emotional imbroglio to be clear later. Clear up the air once and for all making your points for breaking up as clear and concise as possible while being civil about it. You should avoid anything that will create any form of hope for your partner.

On a last note, after the breakup try to keep contact with your now erstwhile  partner to the barest minimum and if possible cut it off completely for the first few months after the breakup. More importantly, it is advisable not to immediately get into a new relationship after such breakup.