Building Community Pride From the Inside Out

Published May 16, 2010

Foundations / Personal Energy Mastery Hypnosis

Building Community Pride From the Inside

When I first went into private practice as a Hypnotherapist, back in the early 90(s), I was sure of two things. I knew I wanted to work primarily in the GBLTQ community, I wanted to find a better & more effective way of dealing with one of the major issues of our community; and low self worth & self esteem.

Flash forward to 2008. I have continued to work in the community, both as a Hypnotherapist and as an addiction studies specialist. For the first nine years I worked in private practice with chemical dependency agencies, a medically based smoking cessation program, and in outreach positions for HIV, and AIDS clientele. I followed that with nine years as the Clinical Coordinator for Project NEON, first at Stonewall Recovery Services, and later at Seattle Counseling Services.

Project NEON works with Gay & Bi-Sexual Men who inject Crystal Methamphetamine. When I first came to the program, I worked with both components of the program, the Peer Education component, (having current users of Meth distribute information resources, needles, condoms, etc., and the clinical portion of the program which deals with clients who wish to either cut down or stop their use of the drug).

Within a few years I was spending the majority of my time developing and growing the clinical portion of the program, utilizing the combination of my skills as a Hypnotherapist, Neuro Linguistic Programmer, Time Line Therapist, and Chemical Dependency Counselor.

It was during this time that I really began exploring why our community has been so heavily affected by drugs and alcohol. The answers I came up with, while not new, helped me refine a method that utilizes the incredible energy of the brain, through Hypnotherapy, NLP, and Mindfulness to resolve those issues.

What I have come to realize is that drug abuse, & addiction in the GBLTQ community comes from our original beliefs / agreements about ourselves, our deeply internalized messages about our sexual identity, and our own personal internalized homophobia.

Having internalized homophobia, does not always manifest in the obvious “I hate myself” type beliefs or behaviors, but it does manifest due to deep core beliefs we were taught and absorbed , and all of which were based in fear and ignorance.

What kind of messages have you subconsciously accepted and agreed to about what it meant to be LGBTQ while you were growing up? How many times were you told over and over again that you are sick, perverted, less than, need to change, not worthy of being in a recognized loving relationship, and in many cases you found yourself abused, used, and treated less than by your straight friends & associates? As we begin to recognize these messages, we realize that we are not alone, and that we have all been effected by similar messages in some way or another.

Think about the messages from movies, books, television, parents, churches, schools, or even our straight friends as we are growing up. How many of us can recall sitting down and having a talk with Mom or Dad, and being told that some day we would meet a nice girl, or boy, (someone of the same sex), and we would fall in love and get married. I would hazard to say that not many of us had this kind of interaction. Instead I can give you examples of how many of us were on the school playground, or in the gym locker room, and the words, faggot, dyke or queer, were mercilessly thrown at us by those that we considered our peers. At a young age it hurts, as we get older it hurts even more. And no matter what age, it leaves an incredibly deep scar. For the rest of our life we carry with us the deep belief that we are less than our friends simply because of our sexual orientation.

As we get older some of us bottle up those feelings, they become our constant companion, and our worst enemy. They feed off of daily news items of hate crimes, or religious slander, political bigotry agendas, Sometimes the hardest issue to deal with is the rejection of our own family because of sexual orientation. Some of us manifest these feelings in a life in which we remain in the closet, never feeling like we can be your true self, always having to hide our feelings, afraid that we will be rejected by those who “love” us. Some us manifest these internalized feelings in bold and in your face identities that cause us to become activist, or champions of the community, drag queens, leather kings, etc., (O.K. so being an activist, being a drag queen, being a leather king, etc. can be argued as appropriate paths that we have created / manifested for ourselves), BUT to even have to manifest a particular role that we now identify with, narrows us, and hides much of what is true about us.

Everyone of us needs, & deserves to be accepted and valued, for who we truly are, whether that is Gay or Straight. This kind of acceptance and value creates feelings of self confidence, self esteem, and self worth. As A Gay or Lesbian youth we learn early to suppress our thoughts and our feelings. We learn through subtle and not so subtle messages that it is not right – or acceptable – to be who we really are, to have sexual feelings toward members of our own gender. We learn that to admit to such feelings will cause us pain, humiliation, torture, and even death.

In one such case a young boy was attempting to come to grips with his homosexuality, and felt that it was time to confront his father with the revelation. The father’s response was less than kind. The youth made the mistake of telling his father on the second story of the family home. The father became so enraged that he threw his son from the window. Luckily the youth experienced only a broken leg. As it was the mental damage went much deeper than a broken bone.

In my own case, I began to come to grips with my homosexual feelings at a young age. I had a friend whom I thought I could trust with my life. We had been buddies since the fourth grade. Since he had moved away to an adjoining town. I sat down & wrote him a letter telling him I needed to talk, the talk was less than successful. I had only superficial contact with my best buddy since that time and he felt it necessary to tell everyone he could to stay away from the queer. Ironically I found out years later that this buddy had committed suicide amidst rumors of his own homosexuality.

These early experiences create core beliefs, core agreements, about who we are now, and how we fit into society. These become the foundations of our ego. Without always conscious awareness, we struggle against these agreements, while we continue to struggle against the institutional societal discrimination that hits us every day. Some examples are the hate crimes that are perpetrated against people in our community, or the ongoing struggle to gain the basic rights enjoyed by straight couples, toward legally recognized same sex marriage / partnerships. Despite the fact that many same sex partnerships last as long as or longer then many straight marriages. Our basic rights such as housing, employment & privacy are constantly being legally threatened thanks to such homophobic groups such as fundamentalist and, Ex-Gay ministries, etc.

Violent attacks against the GBLTQ community are often excused as the fault of the victim being sexual deviants.

What does all this mean in terms of Hypnotherapy , NLP, & Mindfulness?

Your brain is an incredibly sophisticated piece of equipment. In fact it is said to be so sophisticated that no computer will ever match it’s ability to think and reason.

Like a computer it receives information through the central nervous system, translates it into electro – chemical bits of vibrating bytes, down loads it into our hard drive, and has been doing so from the moment we are first born. According to some theories this process has been going on for several months before our birth.

Most simply think of your mind as having three different components, the conscious mind, the brain, and the subconscious mind .

Our Conscious mind is comprised of all our central nervous system, our five senses and possibly more. In this way we download every piece of information that we are ever exposed to. From birth to puberty (about 11 – 13) we take in this information accept it all without any analysis. Much like a keyboard on a computer, the Conscious mind records every bit of information and imprints it onto the physical portion of the mind; the Brain.

The Brain, like a hard drive on a computer, stores the information for future playback in the form of neuro firing patterns, electro – chemical bits of information that travel along the pathways producing behaviors that make up our personality. Since we simply absorb this worldly input and stimulus, it all contributes to what becomes our agreements, our blueprint, our personal individual road map of reality. Many of these beliefs are woefully defined by merely a same gender attraction which must therefore, be the sole primary motivation of our lives. From the age of about 13 on we start developing the capacity to analyze the information that we receive. Many of those pieces of information, our original agreements, become what many people call our inner child. In the LGBTQ community the majority of us start out with false beliefs and agreements about who and what we are. We often accept agreements that we are sinners moral deviates, and less than our straight companions. These thoughts and ideas becoming our core beliefs, and ultimately contribute to internalized homophobia.

One of many human challenges is that we identify with our bodies, and our bodies of thoughts and feelings as the ultimate truth of who we really are. This is simply not so. We are that which has a body; we are that which possess a body of thoughts and feelings be we are not these things. We came to believe that our value is defined by the external.

We can strive to create external so called success we can pull ourselves up, get a good career, make a good living, and take fabulous vacations, but none of that is going to matter until we release our false beliefs and agreements.

Finally the subconscious mind, vast in scope, truly and simply tailors our experiences to its programming. Like what we see on the screen of our computers, the things we manifest in our lives our actions and more importantly perhaps, our reactions and responses to the people, situations, and circumstances of our daily lives is dictated by our deepest core beliefs.

It is interesting to note that the subconscious processes off of images in our mind. If I were to ask you, describe your mother, would you see a paragraph in your mind that says, “my mother is 72 years old, 5’ 8”, 165 lbs, reddish blonde hair, etc.”. or would you see an image of your mother, a picture in your mind of what she looks like and a feeling she evokes.

We can rationalize, we can minimize, we can deny our agreements each & every moment of every day. But until we face our innermost core beliefs, we will always end up continuing down that old familiar path.

With hypnotherapy you are learning to face those beliefs / agreements, and with Foundations / Personal Energy Mastery you are actually able to cut the emotional ties at a very deep level to those agreements. Once those ties are cut you are able to rebuild a crumbling negative foundation with a strong positive one, a foundation that allows you to accept yourself as A PERFECT WHOLE & COMPLETE HUMAN BEING who just happens to be a member of the GBLTQ community!!!!

As a community as far as we’ve come, we’re still exposed to a multiplicity of challenges on various fronts.

We are each armed with a wondrous and amazing and mighty tool, our mind. This tool can be either a merciless master or a wonderful servant and we each absolutely possess the power to master this tool and live the life of our dreams.

D.L.Scott is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Nationally Certified as a Pain Management Consultant. He has an Associates of Applied Science degree in the Social and Human Services, and received his license as an Chemical Dependency Professional in 1993.

For eighteen years he has worked in the addictions studies field using Hypnotherapy, NLP, and Cognitive Behavioral Techniques to enhance relapse prevention skills with numerous clients, it was during this time that he refined a technique that he calls Emotional Release Therapy.

He is a member of the National Board of Hypnotherapist & Hypnotic Anesthesiologist, the American Association of Professional Hypnotherapists, and the GSBA. He is a qualified instructor with the state of WA., and an experienced group facilitator.

Through his roles as a Counselor in private practice, Smoking Cessation Specialist with the Center for Health Promotion, Clinical coordinator for Project NEON, and as chemical dependency counselor with the state of WA. DL has helped thousands of people stop addictive behavior with a variety of substances, including cigarettes, and Crystal Meth. You can view more about DL at dlscottpersonalenergymastery.com

Building Community Pride From the Inside Out

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