Anorexia started taking over my life 4 months ago…..

Published July 6, 2010

I am going to document my struggle with anorexia (and other mental issues) because I have done damage to my heart and I feel scared I will die. I just want to make sure that if anything happens to me, other people will learn from my life and not make the same choices. I have had a lot of issues in my life. I was a severe drug addict (crack, heroin, cocaine, speedballs), I have been in so many hospitals so many times (diagnosed as Schizoaffective the last time), I was bulimic as a young teenager but I was eating normally (although hating my body) untill four months ago (actually less than that). I am getting married soon to the love of my life, he is really upset about my wieght loss. I eat next to nothing every day, I somtimes go several days eating literally nothing. I want to make him happy, I WANT TO BE HAPPY. I dont understand why I hurt so badly. I have severe insomnia, panic attacks, PTSD…I just want the pain to stop. (i use psychiatric labels such as “PTSD” because otherweise most people will not understand what I’m talking about)
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