inconsiderate foster children ?

Question by mini me: inconsiderate foster children ?
My parents have been foster parents for 10 years now, now that I am finally about to move out of the house (I am 21 graduating in dec. 2009) my parents especially my mother gets so offensive and depressed when I tell them that I am finally leaving so that I can live a normal peaceful life without having to succumb to the torturing mess that the foster children that my parents brought into our home has been causing for so many years up until now. The children that my parents have been fostering are 2 girls one is now 14, the other is 13. The 13 year suffers from a mental illness (and I still do not know what it is exactly), the other 14 year old doesn’t. They are both kids from a crack cocaine addict mother who smoked it while pregnant with them. (but they were taken away immediately after delivery). The point is this kids have a taken away every and anything that allowed me and my sister and parents to have a comfortable, peaceful living. Why, because up until now they were consistently stealing( going in peoples purses and stealing money, phones, everything that they could fine) and lying and never ever tells the truth we always had a hard time getting them to own up to what they did. The 13 year old always goes to school and tells people that she never gets to eat food, that my mother is always abusing her and she never gets to wear name brand and just a whole bunch of junk just so that she can have her way, but its all lies just lies. They eat 4 and half times a day full plates AND bowls of food my parents never abuse them. The 13 year old just doesnt like to be told to do her homework or not to steal and learn how to tell the truth and she has a very long history of doing that and that is why my family was so uncomfortable because social workers are in out of our house every minute just because she makes those allegations and she still continues to make allegations. Recently she went and told people at school that she never gets to eat food and doesnt get to eat what she wants, and has to sleep on the floor, and doesnt get to watch what she wants to watch on t.v. and how my mother beats her up which now caused dcf to consistentley come to the house and search through MY PERSONAL THINGS!. When I was there age, 13, they were brought home they were 6 and 7 when they came. Both me and my sister were happy to receive them cause we loved kids especially the fact that they were girls cause we loved to do hair and we knew that we can relate more to them. As kids our selfs we accepted them. I was forced to give up EVERYTHING THAT I HAD including my bedroom for them and had to stay in the living room for a full 2 years (of no privacy) and had to sleep on the couch, then I got moved to the den area were it was so cold and dusty for another 3 and half years (still no privacy) until we moved to georgia were I finally had a decent area to live (I was 18). Me and my sister gave them everything we had encouraged them and everything but still they treat us like crap always lying, stealing, false accusations after all these years they still do it recently I just been ignoring them because I realized when I was there age I knew RIGHT FROM WRONG and how to behave (I never lied on parents even when they repermanded me or told me what to do). Recently I told the social worker that came to the house due to another RECENT false accusation made that I am just so sick of these kids and how selfish they are, I had no choice but to give up what I had for them, having to fend for my self ever since they came to live with us because all the time, energy and strength that my parents have goes to them all the attention is on them, I had to live uncomfortable in a house without any peace because of them. All drama! and am sick of it no cared or asked where I to slept and studied (before we moved), no asked me why I always wear the same clothes to school no asked why I looked so skinny, or why I always have nappy braids No one asked how I felt or even cared how I felt for that matter and I was still a kid, I had to live a life of misery since I was 13 up until now 21. My teenage years went down the drain, just a horrible life and I am just so angry about it now that I look back on it, and thats what I told the social worker, even though I told him that everyone including the school is still in favor of the kids!!! telling my parents that they are bad parents which really really made break down the other night cause I live in the house and how devoted my parents are to these despite their actions even though they just went on a rampage of stealing 2 peoples phone 50 bucks from a teachers purse and just lying on my mother (just to let you know my mother is very caring for this kids, she cared for them more then me all the attention is on them 24/7! makes them wear even better clothes then what I wore at their age, eat a whole bunch of food 4 TIMES A DAY including the food at church and they get to do more activities that me and my sister
We talk all the time about this over the years but they just got mad at me and my sister. Now I talk no more, I am just going to act. It would have been better if they allowed us to get involved in the decision making to pick foster kids who were less problematic like the kids who I see everyday. I told them 3 times that I am moving on since the year began.

Best answer:

Answer by FlutterMeBy
When I was in foster care, I came into some very rotten foster families, although I was blessed to have one foster family that actually treated me and my sister like family.

There was this one foster family that had a daughter and they spoiled her to death. However, my sister and I had to clean house and do alot of chores. Their daughter didn’t have to do crap. When Christmas came, guess what she got? Lots of clothing and nice stuff. We got junk, like you could tell it was cheap.

In another, their son told me that my mom didn’t love me because if she did, I wouldn’t be in foster care! That wasn’t the case. We didn’t come from an abusive or drug related home. Our mom just fell on some hard times and the state took us away until she could get on her feet again.

Those children are clearly not happy in yoru parent’s house. Your parents need to call their social worker and have them moved. This is in the best interest for ALL involved.

Apparently you have had some bad experiences with foster care, so have I. My sisters and I weren’t brats or acted bratty. We didn’t pig out or anything like that. We didn’t make up lies.

If they came from a mother that did drugs durning pregnancy, they probably don’t understand what they are doing.

In my state, the foster family has to have enough bedrooms for all the children. No more then 2 to a bedroom. That way no one ends up in the living room on a couch or anything like that.

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