Grandparents: pals or pressure!
Grandparents: pals or pressure!
Introduction
“Grandparents raising their grandchildren”, “grandparent caregivers”, “grandparents-as-parents” and “grandparent-headed families” are interchangeable terminologies which refer to the families where grandparents provide full time parental care to their grandchildren in the absence of the children’s biological parents. In this era of recession where the people are losing their jobs at a much faster rate, parenting is becoming a big worry and therefore parents are becoming more inclined and turning to their own parents to rear their children because of several reasons including the financial insecurity and also because they are seeking jobs elsewhere and therefore grandparents raise their grandchildren due to the inability of the children’s parents to effectively meet their parenting responsibilities. There are other conditions when grandparents become the full-time parent, may be either because of the death of the parent or a parent is away in the military, or because of the career of the parent(s) demand support to rear their kids, and rarely because of the grandparents living along with their children as a single joint family or under the rarest circumstances when the parent/s may be mentally ill, incarcerated, or merely and regrettably incapable of caring for their children (Proud Grandparents).
In many Western societies grandparents have play a dual role- as care providers of their grandchildren and also as grandchild’s parents. And therefore provide full-time parenting role for their grandchildren. This includes a number of changes in family structure and social conditions (Kornhaber, 1996).
Grandparents raising grandchildren is not a new phenomenon. Historically, they have always stood to take over the care of their grandchildren in times of family crisis and have played major roles in raising their grandchildren (Kornhaber, 1996). The growing social phenomenon in USA showed 44% increase over the preceding decade in the number of children living with their grandparents or other relatives. According to the Census 2000 Supplementary survey between 2.3 and 2.4 million grandparents have primary responsibility for the care and upbringing of 4.5 million children (Hayslip & Patrick, 2003a). This phenomenon has captured the attention of researchers, service providers and policy makers in the USA, resulting in a number of interventions to assist grandparents raising grandchildren (Hayslip & Kaminski, 2005).
The U.S. 2000 Census displays that around 2.5 million families with grandparents raising their grandchildren (Kornhaber, 1996). The number is on rise as many families do support other relatives, who act as parents, for e.g. raising their brother or sister’s children or, even yet, raising their niece or nephew’s children. It is an observation that at times grandparents are at work also and still raising their grandchildren. There is a kind of mental, emotional, or financial boding between grandparents and their grandchildren and with time it becomes more than overwhelming or loving, friendly relationship develops between two different generations. Grandparents willingly do everything, for their grandchildren from needing diapers and formula, an appropriate car seat for the toddler, or may it be dealing with a drug-addicted teenager or helping the grandchild if the grandchild is physically or mentally challenged. In return children also develop a bond of love with their grandparents and listen to them more than their own parents.
In this case of physically challenged children, it becomes essential for grandparents to procure financial support. With the age, it becomes difficult and challenging for the grandparents to raise their grandchildren and themselves may be dependent on medicines but it is the faith of the grandparents that drive them to take good care about themselves and also about their future generation, the grandchildren. The bond between both these generations is of pure love and affection. Most of the grandparents express their feelings about their spiritual temperament and think themselves to be directly connected to God or the Divine power in their lives.
On the part of grandparent also it requires lot of patience, courage and dedication to rear a second family. Moreover, grandparents struggle with the family conditions that have directed them to such circumstances. The meaning of the relationship in terms of physical, emotional, social, legal and financial challenges has changed when compared to the situation when they were rearing their own children. After becoming grandparents the meaning of parenthood changes and more softness comes from within for the grandchild as compared to own child. This may become devastating as some of the grandparents ignore most of the deeds their grandchild is doing