Trauma and Dating Violence Common Among Troubled Teens

Sexual abuse is any type of sexual activity to which you have not consented.  It may involve pressure to consent, the use of force, violence, or bodily injuries.  Being under the influence of alcohol or drugs and not being able to truly consent to sexual activity is considered sexual assault as well.

Stalking is a more passive violence, but can be just as threatening.  This includes someone showing up uninvited, watching or spying on you, tracking your schedule, giving you unwanted gifts, persistent phone calls, and sending threatening e-mails or letters.  The disturbing issue with stalking is the constant question of uncertainty or the level of violence and when it could strike.

There are a variety of abuses in dating including verbal/emotional abuse, stalking, sexual abuse, and physical abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse can be just as destructive as physical abuse, but not as easy to identify by others.  Women are at a greater risk of being assaulted by someone they know rather than a stranger.  One in Twelve women are stalked sometime in their life.  Some safety tips for dating that may deter this abuse:

> Try to group date initially when it is with someone new
> Know that constant calling and checking in on you can be a sign of controlling behavior
> If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, like on a date, leave the situation if possible orcall/text a friend

Warning Signs of an Abuser

# Extreme jealousy
# Controlling behavior
# Quick involvement
# Pressure to have sex
# Public embarrassment
# Withholding money
# Intimidation, bullying or threats
# Criticism or verbal “put-downs”
# Isolation from family and friends
# Logging into your e-mail and reading it
# Checking sent/received calls on your cell phone

If you think a friend is in an abusive relationship:

1.Offer your friendship and support
2.Let them know that it is not their fault
3.Identify unhealthy actions and behaviors
4.Encourage them to build a support network
5.Don’t force them to do something
6.Refer them to a crisis hot line
7.Don’t judge and be understanding
8.Be available