is it unreasonable to ask my mom to stop taking pain pills and seek a different type of treatment?

Question by julie: is it unreasonable to ask my mom to stop taking pain pills and seek a different type of treatment?
she has emphysema, bursitis, and arthritis. and thats why she takes vicodin. she requested pain meds from her dr ( who i would consider a bad dr) she has no insurance so shes limited as to who she can see. i know that these can be painful, but if you treat the actual pain, instead of taking pain pills, wont it help more? like for arthritis anti inflammatory meds? same with bursitis. and for emphysema i would think something to help her breathe would be more helpful? she is 56 she lives in my home. i do not agree with taking pain meds, if there is a better way.
peaches- she is taking vicodin all day everyday- its changing her personality. she is doped up from it. i have a newborn and i dont want a druggy in my house.
she is not functioning at all –that is the thing. she lays in her bedroom spaced out. she used to be a horrible drunk had no place to live so i said she could come here if she quit drinking. i could tell her leave but she will end up in a gutter somewhere. she has no income, and no ambition. i really believe she wants these pills because she cant drink. no she does not smoke anylonger. i would never buy ciggarettes for her, and she has no money.
cant believe someone would rather be kicked out of your house than to get off of presciption drugs.

and for the record i know for a fact that these drs that work in the clinics will write you a script without really chicking to see if it is needed. i know not all drs are quaks, but this one is

Best answer:

Answer by Peaches (The Original)
if your mother is in pain and the pain medication is helping her to function and have somewhat of a normal life, then yes, it would be unreasonable to ask her to stop the medication. Even though arthritis can be treated with NSAID’s it is not always effective, especially if it is an advanced case. These medications may not work for her. There is not anything you can do that will treat the arthritis and make all of the symptoms disappear. She could try PT for a while and see if that helps, but if it does not, then there is no harm in her taking pain medications if she is not abusing them. Plus, without insurance it is going to be hard for her to get quality treatment unless she has the ability to pay out of pocket for the medical expenses, and trust me, the medical expenses without insurance can be extremely high. Why would you want your mother to suffer and be in pain just because you personally do not like pain medications? That seems a little mean and cruel that you would prefer she suffer just so you feel a little better. If it was you in that situation, how would you feel if your daughter wanted you to suffer from the pain just so she could feel better about your health? You need to think about this. There are some conditions that only get worse and need to be treated with pain medications just so the person can function day to day. You may not like her doctor and you may not like her decision about how to treat her health issues, but it is not your decision to make and it is not your place to ask her to suffer. Honestly, you sound a bit selfish.
**EDIT**If you feel she is a risk to your child then you can ask her to move into her own place, but you are not entitled to ask her to change her medical treatment to make yourself feel better. You do not live with her pain and therefore you have not right to chime in and tell her to stop taking any medication. Until you have been in the shoes of someone who suffers from chronic pain you will continue to believe that you are right in making this request. But since you do not experience her pain, or chronic pain yourself, then you need to back off. Again, if you feel that she is a danger to your child, you do have the right to ask her to move out, as your child is your top priority. and one more thing, who are you to call her a drug addict? Do you know with 100% certainty that she is abusing her meds or getting them from more than one doctor? Probably not. You just labeled your own mother because YOU have a problem with her taking the meds, not because she has a problem with them. Think about that!

Answer by ShaneLvr_LA
I agree with Peaches. I’m a sufferer of horrible back and hip problems. Keep in mind, that without the pain meds, she may not be the mom you remember. the pain can alter her personality just like the pain meds do. for instance, when I try to wean down just to see if i can, the pain takes over so badly that i become a raging bitch. as long as they are prescribed by MD and she is taking **as directed** and no more, then there is no reason to ask her to live in pain so that you may be comfortable. However, if she is taking more than the prescribed amount, the possibility of addiction becomes higher and that will need to be addressed. Also, as long as the meds are kept out of child’s reach, your home will be safe. If at a later time, you’re noticing that she’s moving better, feeling better, then approach the possibility of weaning down from the pain meds. you can’t stop cold turkey with that. have to wean down over a few weeks/months time.

I hope this helps. I’ve been on both sides of that fence and neither is an enjoyable experience. Good luck!

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