I don’t really know how to deal with this. A little anxious towards what could happen to my relationship?
Question by Schrödinger’s Cat (Curly Headed F*ck): I don’t really know how to deal with this. A little anxious towards what could happen to my relationship?
I will try to make this short.
So a week ago, my boyfriend and I were hanging out at my apartment. He gets a call from his sister saying there is a girl in front of the house asking for him. She said she was going to stay there until he got back, but then she just left a note and gave it to his sister to give to him.
My boyfriend and I were laughing and wondering who would come to his house without any text or call, so I told him to call me right away when he gets home and we will try to figure out who it was.
So he gets home, he reads me the note, and HE said it said something like “Hey I really need your help and need to talk, but you were not home, you jerk *cat face*.” He said it was unsigned and he had no clue who it was. And every time I joked about it he kept saying he never found out who it was.
BUT, yesterday I found out through his friend that it was his ex-girlfriend from 5 year ago. They basically just broke up on really bad terms and had not spoken to each other for years. he was depressed over her for like 3 years until we started dating. All his friends like me and are happy that we are happy and he got over her.
And she randomly left this note at his door step. In high school she was a horrible druggie and now she is an even worse druggie (like cocaine, meth, ecstasy, maybe heroin)
So I confronted him about it. I asked “So, when were you gonna tell me the note was from her?” He felt really guilty and horrible that I was so sad and mad. And said that he knew I would be mad, and said he was curious to see what she wanted since he had not talked to her in so long. And he said he was going to tell me when he found out what she wanted. I know I would have gotten a little upset if he was up front about it. Mainly worried that he may re-unite with his ex and fall in love with her again and leave me. But when I found out he lied to me about it, I felt even worse. it made the whole thing seem sketchy.
So he spent the rest of the day apologizing to me. I accepted it, but am still worried. He said that he expects she either needs money, a place to live, or help getting over her drug addiction. But I am still wondering why she went to him? I am still a little worried, but he assured me that he did not intend to have friendship or anything with her, he just wanted to see what was wrong. But the fact that he lied still bothered me a lot.
I guess I need some outside opinion. Nothing too harsh. My boyfriend has no history of cheating on his girlfriends, he isn’t a bad person or a shady person at all. My brother has been his good friend for eight years now. So we know him well.
Do you think he just wanted to see what happened to her and I should let it go, but keep being involved with when he hears from her again, or should I be on my toes? I trust him, but I just have this worst case scenario playing in my head of her trying to come back into his life and try to be in a relationship with him. Then he chooses her over me :/
@Dr. Oz: Touche
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Answer by Dr. Oz
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