13 year old dating/sleeping with Older Men – Help!?

Question by 925’s Salvation: 13 year old dating/sleeping with Older Men – Help!?
Honestly, this is an ugly situation as both of her parents are drug addicts (habitual – the step-father actively shares cigarettes and a substance known as Spice (synthetic cannabis) with the daughter, and the biological mother drinks everyday and uses meth “responsibly”, if you could say that).

The mother is 43, the step-father (who is a good friend) is 25 and I am 24.There is a large gap in age between the mother and daughter, and the mother can only do so much with her limited energy these days (in which she sleeps most of the day, almost every day). They used to spend a good amount of time together, but now that that’s missing, the effect it has on her life *shows*.

I am Disabled (due to a car accident with said friend) and as such, have much time to understand the daughter’s dilemmas and being that I listen to her and don’t judge (like a Confession booth), she has told me *Many* unsavory things that have happened between her, older men and even people of the house. I’ve gained her trust by listening to her grievances whereas her parents largely ignore her or send her to her room. In essence, I’ve become something of a parental figure to her (being as I have taken parenting classes for people ages 0-4 years old. A lot of the principles are still the same). She begs for attention by being loud and obnoxious in the living room while we (parents and I) are watching the television. She will continue to push until the parents argue with her. It’s attention-seeking behavior, I know that much. But, the only attention she receives is negative, and I think that is merely complicating the problems already at hand. Initially, the parents had time to spend with the daughter (and she was better for it) but now that they are the managers of a motel full-time (24 hours), they no longer have the time to spend with their outrageous child and are managing their stress levels in between down times. She’s run amok ever since.

Sorry guys; all the Easy answers have been used. The mother does not punish her daughter (the daughter’s cell phone bill gets paid every month), the step-father shares cigarettes Spice with her, and being that they are monitored on surveillance and have rooms adjoining theirs, when the daughter gets loud, they get noise complaints from the renters, asking them to keep it down (that’s her Ace in the hole)! The mother has already tried turning over the child to the authorities after losing her cool and striking her, claiming that she knew herself to be an unfit mother. I was told that they essentially told her to ‘grow up and be a parent’, even implying to put hands on her if necessary.

Being that I’m within the range of people that she brings to the house (anywhere between 16 to 27), I gain consent from the parents to walk her from her house to her destinations (as she is on probation for theft, and she’ll walk on her own if no one goes with her). I’ve found that she hangs around people who do drugs, she idolizes girls her age who are having unprotected sex with several older men, and she’s dating and having sex with men older than me (49 in one instance, for Heaven’s sake!).

I was raised with Eastern philosophies and a lot of quotes, and I’ve been able to influence her to straighten out a little by using quotes, humor and generally being a supportive person (literally, using children’s psychology I had learned in parenting class) and enjoying limited success. Recently though, she’s dating an obvious meth addict (a friend and I scoured his bag that he left. Showed her the pipe with a white resin in it), getting drunk between probation urine tests and having no real role models to look up to (I haven’t worked in 3 years now, due to a paralyzed right arm). I’ve taught her so far to start doing her homework on her (home schooled), learn about the dangers of unprotected sex, the effects of the prescription pills she’s on, the side effects of the drugs that she’s using and to weigh her decisions before acting. Honestly, I feel that she *Can* be saved from ending up like her older sister (who is into heroin, but started all of this later in life) but we’re at that ‘Do or Die’ time.

I need to keep her trust, as I am the only person she listens to/talks to in terms of what’s going on. I’m too young/financially irresponsible ($ 3,500 credit card bill) to care for her, and I fear putting her in the system as I’ve heard horror stories about that too. That, and I see this as a learning experience for when I have children, but even I know that this is well outside of what I’m prepared to deal with.

Help. What can you do that can teach *Her* how to straighten herself out? Catching pedophiles only removes the obstacle. I want to be able to teach her to save herself, as we won’t always be there when she needs us the most (when it’s happening).

Sorry for as co

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Can I get her number?

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Life or Meth – www.the-smart-shop.com 1,3-dimethylamylamine DMAA drug Class A: Ecstasy, LSD, heroin, cocaine, crack, magic mushrooms, amphetamines (if prepared for injection). Class B: Amphetamines, Cannabis, Methylphenidate (Ritalin), Pholcodine. Class C:Tranquilisers, some painkillers, Gamma hydroxybutyrat…

 

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