How do I Keep My Kid off Drugs?

I am asked quite frequently, usually by concerned parents this, “what can I do to keep my kids off drugs”. There are many caned responses that we usually give like, “talk to them about drugs”, or “watch for the warning signs”. These things are all good advice but there is much, much more to it than the latest buzz word for prevention.

Substance abuse in America is at epidemic levels. I am familiar with a certain small town that lost 80 youth in one year to Heroine overdose. Had that same town experienced 80 deaths caused by the bird flue, that small community would have been flooded by a state and federal response, as well as world wide media coverage.

Do you really think that such an epidemic will be stopped if we throw enough of those great sounding buzz words at it? The problem runs far deeper into the fabric of our society. It is a problem arising from fundamental changes that have come upon the American family. The individual family is the building block of our society and things that happen in the family or things that are tough whether by word or example will become standard in society.

The dynamic of the family has changed drastically. 50 years ago over 90% of moms were home at the time their children came home from school. Fathers were more than likely home by six and all day Saturday and Sunday. Vacations were primarily taken as a family. And the divorce rate 50 years ago was approximately ½ what it is today.

I was speaking with a parent of an addict and they told me how frustrated they were that their son only thought of himself and would threaten suicide if he could not have things his way. Later when I was able to speak with her son He related some things that he felt led to his struggle with drugs. He told me that his parents had been for as long as he could remember heavily involved in their careers and that he had spent all day at a baby sitters house until a joyful hour a day spent with mom before bed. This went on until he was able to stay at home on his own. He also related that his parents took several vacations a year all over the world while he stayed with friends or in the summer as he was shipped off to camp.

Of course this young addict had been taught every day of his life that the most important thing in life is what you want, not love for one another, not sacrifice for others, not give of yourself. His parents had done a great job of teaching him that he should have whatever makes him comfortable no matter the cost.

It is quite an easy trap to get caught in when we say that we are only working this hard so we can give our children everything they want, but in so doing we neglect everything they need. The world is full of qualified people, just use sum of that qualification on your kids, teach them ethics, teach them how to work, teach them how to respect the laws of the land, teach them how to clean, teach them how to cook, teach them what your parents tough you, hopefully it was good. Most of all teach them that they are the most important thing in your life. You may have the best kids in the world but if you are not there someone else will be. You are not going to be able to stop the epidemic with money or with a couple of talks about marijuana. You are going to have to be there and be a bigger part of their lives than anyone else can be.

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