My bf is an addict/alcoholic. Will he ever change and choose our future over his addictions?

Question by Laura: My bf is an addict/alcoholic. Will he ever change and choose our future over his addictions?
We have been in a relationship struggle for almost 2 years. I noticed that his drinking started affecting our relationship when he’d be drunk all the time. to the point where I felt I was speaking to a child. Then he started getting involved in pills. He got off the pills but then dabbled in meth and coke recently. He said it was a one time thing. With his addictive pesonality and constant lying to cover up his lies. I never know when he’s telling the truth. He says he wants to be sober and have a life with me but is not willing to go to rehab cause he can’t afford it. Unfortunately he comes from a family of drunks and druggies and they just tell him I’m trying to control his life. I feel like I’m going insane and when I explain that i love him and I need him to change so we can be happy he says he wants to change but his actions do not follow. He keeps making the same mistakes and apologizng for them later. When I tell him it’s over he completely breaks down and I see a grown man cry and beg me to give him more time. How long will I be waiting for the person I used to know to return. Is it too late. How do I end this? When I break it off. I tell him I’m done. He’ll be sober for a couple weeks, and call me and I get sucked into it again. Do I abandon someone who needs help if this addiction is a so called “disease”. How can I do it when he needs me the most. It may just send him off the deep end. I’ve never had to deal with this. How do I end if he knows where I live, where I work, my phone number, my family, he even lives in the same town and keeps calling me and I don’t know if love will overcome this and as soon as I hear from him or see him I realize I am still in love and am determined to fix him. Can a person be fixed by another person?

Best answer:

Answer by Cyprus
Could you live with him if he didn’t?

edit: I went back and actually read that long text you wrote. I think you ask a good question “Can a person be fixed by another person”? You can help, and you’ve tried, but in the end it’s up to him isn’t it? I think you’ve done your part and now he needs to do his. It’s tough though, I’m sure you want to be there for him. If you were married it might feel like breaking your vows to leave him ….
I don’t know what to say.
Unless you’re okay with living with him as an addict, I think you need to tell him you love him and care about him but can’t continue your relationship with him until he does his part to clean up.
While you’re waiting for him do some research, find out as much as you can about overcoming addictions, forward articles or link to websites to him, help him as a friend; don’t completely abandon him, but remove yourself enough that his problems aren’t an everyday part of your life.

???
hope this helps.
good luck.

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