Help With Father With A Gambling Addiction?
Question by n19aces: Help With Father With A Gambling Addiction?
Well, obviously from the title, my father has a gambling addiction. He has said many times that he has stopped but keeps disappearing late at night and also asking me and my family members for money with some story that, at first, I believed but in hindsight understood that they were all extravagant lies. Due to his gambling addiction, my family home of 11 years was foreclosed in 2007 and my mother and father had to file bankruptcy. Not to mention, he performed identity theft on every one of my family members to fund his gambling addiction. I was tempted to press charges but I withheld upon him convincing me that he could pay me back and he would stop gambling. Of course, he could not hold up his part of the deal and I feel like a moron for believing him and picturing him as the father that I grew up with, trusted, and loved.
Every time I try to approach him on this issue, he gets extremely mad, extremely quickly and runs off stomping mad. He has this extremely short temper and, not to mention, this sense of ignorant male pride that nothing is wrong with him and he is capable of taking care of himself. Also, my family is Vietnamese and I can’t speak the language well so my ability to communicate is restricted to hoping he understands my English and my improvisation of Vietnamese with English mixed in.
My first question is where can I turn for some sort of support group to help him and do these groups allow me to join and either comfort him or participate alongside? Also, what is the best way to convince an addict that he has a problem and needs help? Next, how can I counteract his extreme rage of talking about the subject of gambling addiction and calm him down so that a proper discussion could be completed? Lastly, are there support groups that speak Vietnamese in the Northwest Suburbs of Chicago? I feel as though the best way to communicate is through his native language and others who understand the culture as well. Thank you for your time and all your help!
Best answer:
Answer by BRYAN G
Beat Him!!!!!!!! Muah Muah. ha ha. JK. Call him out on his B.S. He knows that people are pussies, and all he has to do is get mad, (or pretend), and that gives him an easy out. People don’t like confrontation, and he’s using that in his favor. Stare him directly in his eyes, and speak slowly. Understand that he’s going to give you an attitude, but hold your ground, and understand that it’s all an act. He loves gambling and continues to do it. He knows your concern, your opinion, and how people feel. He’s not a dumb ass. Well kind of. He knows it but he doesn’t feel it. He’s an emotional person, They all are. Thats how you communicate with him, But just know that he won’t show it. All you’ll see is that Bull Shit facade he’s so used to using. You look him in the eye, and when he turns away you move your body, and continue looking. Something that liars can’t stand is being placed out in the light for all to see. Don’t stop, and keep pushing forward. He’s never been confronted like that, and so won’t expect it. Look at his eyes, you’ll see when he changes, his eyes will go from being angry, to that of sadness, just keep looking. Don’t look away, he wants help but doesn’t know how. Don’t tell him how, or what he should do or anything. Just how he made you feel, Tell him the truth. Feelings are truth, and that is something that resonates in all of us. Even gamblers, Especially Gamblers. Don’t get mad, upset, angry, raise your voice, unless called for, But most important. Listen. Listen to him not just with words, but his body, his face, his head, his hands, and especially his eyes. He’ll open up.
p.s. RE Read this. if you don’t understand, Re Read again. and if you still have trouble, Re Read it again. And don’t forget the LOVE
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